Lionel Richie and the Christmas cockroaches . . . .

The B&G make for a colourful Christmas.....

Christmas stinks.
Not the entire event, you understand.
In fact, it's just the tree that smells bad, on reflection an inevitable occurrence given that it has been standing in the same stagnant water for almost a month.
The 2011 festive period on the other hand, a success all round.
Perhaps one or two turkeys en route, it's true, but that's to be expected.
The good stuff too much to mention, so here are @homedad's Five Christmas Crackers from recent days:
1) Boxing Day on the beach.
Climbing cliffs, making sand angels, death-defying leaps from the rocks (The B&G in particular), a close call with the tide, it had it all.
2) The Christmas crackers themselves.
Homemade, The W's handiwork, each one personalised (The B's had an Octonauts theme, The G's Peppa Pig), the highlight to be found inside, a colourful electronic cockroach, sourced from a bargain shop, 100 pence apiece, pound-for-pound Christmas's greatest hit.
3) The W's new Lionel Richie album.
Santa showing his smooth side here, this greatest hits double CD is proving popular, The B liking it almost as much as his favourite Bee Gees album, although he doesn't like me singing along and is adamant that Lionel has a superior singing style, showing himself to be lacking in manners but a shrewd judge of musical talent all at the same time.
4) The G's festive artwork (pictured above).
Produced using her biggest Christmas present, Ikea's finest easel, she has spent several hours during recent days with a paintbrush (or sponge, or special rubber finger painters) in her hand and a contented expression on her face.
5) The presents.
Some good ones this time out, including (but not limited to): the aforementioned easel, The B's big green tram, a water pistol (The B's) and giant pink rubber duck (The G's) for the bath, Chloe the doll, countless Octonauts and Peppa-themed puzzles and books, exhaustive painting supplies, games, the Charlie and Lola complete DVD collection, an Octopod and a little Lego to add to the collection.
Too much, as usual, the inevitable consequence that some presents are still being opened.
This afternoon, for example, The B discovered Tag Tails.
The concept, that each player dons a special animal-themed belt, to which tails (tiger, monkey, lion or zebra) can be attached.
Tugging the animal appendage detaches it from said belt, the simple premise of the game, in effect, chase with tails.
The belts are designed for the smaller waistline and when it came to my turn, I had a little trouble fastening it.
"You're just too fat, Daddy," The B informed me.
I'm allowed, I replied.
It is still Christmas, after all.