|Cat One: has a bottom.....|
Following the unfortunate Tailgate affair, I thought it might be time to give The G a lesson in some anatomical basics.
The time, this morning. The place, the kitchen. The method, comparing and identifying certain parts.
Please understand, I don't mean mine. That'd just be wrong.
No, for this particular assignment, I enlisted, as an assistant, a cat.
Not Cat Two, this kind of task much too stressful for his delicate disposition, this a job reserved for the more-robust Cat One.
Cat One is The G's favourite so I had her attention from the off.
Cat One, not so keen, so I had to make it quick.
The idea, in a nutshell: The G first identifying Cat One's main features and then pointing to her own.
The start promising, it soon began to deteriorate.
I first asked The G to point out Cat One's ears and then her own, the eyes, nose and mouth all following.
So far, so good but then The G noticed Cat One's thick tail.
"Tail," announced The G, proud as punch.
"Have you got a tail?" I asked the G.
She stopped and thought about it for a moment.
"I've got a bottom," she said.
I tried to explain that Cat One also has a bottom, just that it tends to remain hidden beneath her tail.
This, however, didn't quite get through.
It turns out I'd lost The G at the B-word and, delighted, she spent the next 20 minutes trotting around the house squealing 'bottom' at the top of her voice.