I have a confession to make.
I have never seen Peppa Pig. Not once, not for a single second.
That, despite having been a parent for a shade over four years. That has got to make me rather unusual, no?
It's no accident, it's down to full-scale, proper, dedicated avoidance.
It's The W's doing.
You see, she loathes Peppa Pig. Full-blown hates it. Can't stand it the porker.
It seems, at times, a somewhat irrational loathing, for like me, she's never, ever seen the programme.
But still, to mention Peppa Pig in our household is to suffer the severest censure. The rules on this are quite clear.
It's true that throughout, I've been content to maintain the status quo. I mean, I don't detest it quite the same (no-one does), but the Peppa Pig trailers I've seen on TV don't grab me quite the same as, for example, Fireman Sam, Fifi and the Flowertots or Thomas and Friends.
Things are about to change, however.
Having been exposed to Peppa Pig at nursery, The B and The G are keen to see a little more at home. Desperate in fact.
I tried to stand up to them - honest, I did - but following a short-lived playroom debate, I found that I lacked a persuasive argument.
"I think Peppa Pig's quite good, actually," The B said, hammering home his main point, his most earnest expression on his face, The G standing at his side in support.
I tried but, on the ropes, I couldn't counter.
Under close supervision, I've just been made to schedule a recording.
In itself, that's not so bad. I just have to break it to The W, and hope that she doesn't chuck something at me.
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