Big noses & bad behaviour

Pre-bedtime television, Octonauts is the choice, The B's, that is.

The G is less enamoured. She'd hoped for another Fireman Sam and The B's current favourite is watched under obvious duress.

The eponymous elephant seal that gives the episode in question its title at last gets her attention.

"It's got a big nose," The B points out.

"Just like Mummy," says The G.

It's a harsh assessment - totally inaccurate, in fact - but such barbs are commonplace and it's not as though The W bears the brunt.

Quite often - most days, in fact - The G runs up behind me, slaps me on the, ahem, rear end, and exclaims "Daddy's big bottom!"

Like the previous example, harsh, but you get used to it.

You also become accustomed to the constant (and I mean constant) chatter, but that doesn't mean it doesn't become difficult to bear after an hour or so.

It's amplified in the house, of course, hence our strategy, getting out and about, all over the place, anywhere that'll have us, the busier the better.

This morning, soft play, a brave choice during school holidays. More cacophonous than normal, bodies strewn everywhere, toddlers running around at full pelt, up the ladders and down the slides, scurrying through the tunnels like sewer rats.

Needless to say, The B and The G loved it. 

If nothing else, I couldn't hear their nonsensical ramblings for an hour or two, their chatter lost in the ensuing chaos.

Then the playground this afternoon, also full-on busy, bursting at the seams, some patrons good, others less so.

The B and The G, like me, have a finely-tuned naughtiness radar, able to detect the children best to avoid in double-quick time.

Two in particular stood out on this occasion, their bad behaviour matching their horrendous haircuts.

"That girl pushed me," The B said at one point. 

The long-haired horror in question was male, although I didn't correct the mistake.

There is, incidentally, a direct correlation between basic grooming and behaviour, but that's one for another time, so too toddlers dressed to look like miniature football hooligans.

For now, let's just say that getting out and about serves to remind me that The B and The G are, on the whole, remarkably well-behaved.

If the price for that is the occasional comment about oversized facial features and bottoms, so be it.

@homedad.
SAHD 31/8/2011.